The first speed-dating event took place in Los Angeles in 1998. This innovative way of meeting as many as 25 (though most events top out at 14 or so) possible love interests at one time was created by Antony Beilinsohn, a Los Angeles-based television executive and clearly very creative person. See full list on theseniorlist.com.
You are a 50-something woman and you are now contemplating the idea of dating someone. But a million thoughts cross your mind while you set out to do so. Dating is meant for the young – says who? John Galsworthy said, 'Love has no age, no limit; and no death.' I say, just like love has no age, neither does dating! Much like the other things in life, meeting and dating new people in life should be a welcome thing, no matter your age. Although there are certain things you need to keep in mind while playing the dating game again if you have crossed the golden jubilee age line already. And yes, I agree that it is not an easy thing to do since you are apprehensive about a lot of things and also quite intimidated by the entire process of meeting, dating, and falling in love again. But if you have braved your thoughts and decided to give it a shot, here's some dating advice for women over 50 that will do you some good.
If there is one person who comes to my mind when I think of an awesome 50-plus woman, it would be the character of Samantha Jones in the movie Sex and the City. The charm, charisma, and the self-confidence that she exudes are nothing short of amazing. She is an independent and gorgeous woman who knows what she wants from her men and gets exactly that. Of course, the woman she plays in the movie has more than love on her mind, but even if things go out of hand, she handles them with élan. She carries herself well and even after coming across various unpleasant men, she stands tall. But then again, not everyone can be like Samantha Jones and some dating tips need to be practiced when you are dating over 50.
Suggested read: 15 common dating mistakes women make that make or break a relationship
So, here are 12 essential pieces of dating advice for women to be kept in mind while dating over 50.
1. Don't look for commitment immediately
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When you start dating over the age of 50, you are obviously looking for a mature relationship. Since you already took the big leap, you want it to work out well and have a future. But don't look for commitment immediately because things like that take time. What the other person thinks about you is also very important. So, go with the flow and let things unravel by themselves.
2. Talk more about you (rather than your children or ex-husband/partner)
You might have a past behind you and that could have been wonderful. You might still miss your children and/or ex-husband/partner. Or you might want to talk about your children living with you. But, it would be a good thing to avoid such topics at the onset. Concentrate more on talking about yourself, and that is going to encourage the two of you to get to know each other better.
3. Don't act like a mother
That tender, caring attitude of a mother with a certain amount of control-freakishness might have crept into your personality as a woman. But please don't carry it along on a date! Remember the guy you are dating is also almost about your age. So, don't give him life lessons on how to be disciplined and healthy. And even if he isn't your age, it can be very irritating and might possibly ruin things for good!
4. Don't pretend, be honest
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One of the major senior dating rules is to completely drop any pretensions. At this age and level of maturity, you shouldn't pretend about any part of your personality. Be honest and expect the same from your date. Putting your cards on the table is the best bet now.
5. Dress and act your age
So, you thought the bright red dress that you once wore in your younger years will still woo the guys? Well, think again! Use your personality to impress your date. Look good, but don't overdo your makeup or accessories – just look natural!
6. Don't sound too desperate
You might be missing out on some action in your life right now, and might want to satisfy your romantic needs with someone soon. This is a normal human instinct, but it is wise not to be too expressive about it too soon. Being patient with such things is always advisable rather than regretting it later. Know each other through and through, and only then take it to the next level. When things ought to happen, they will without effort.
Valdez Over 50 Speed Dating Events
Suggested read: 15 dating struggles of socially awkward people
7. Take it slow when it comes to decisions
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
One of my best pieces of dating advice for women is not to hurry when making decisions. Give yourself time to ponder upon the current situation, the relationship, and the consequences of taking a step further. You might have obligations and liabilities that mean as much to you as much as the relationship does at this point in time. Settle your issues with others and also with yourself. If someone really loves you, he will wait for you so that you don't have to carry the excess baggage of your past into the future.
8. Don't expect or demand too much
When it comes to relationships, it is always good to keep your expectations low at the beginning, before you know what direction the relationship will take. Also, demanding behavior is not much appreciated by your partner, especially when you have just started dating. I know it is difficult to settle with this fact, but believe me, in the long run it will be helpful and one fine day you might be pleasantly surprised!
9. Don't act too independent, let him do things for you
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Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Through the years, life has made you tough and now you are a strong and independent woman. But if you really want someone in your life at this point in time, you have to create space for him. You must let your guy do some things for you and let him show that he cares. It's scary to let someone do that, I know, because you think what if it doesn't work and he isn't there tomorrow? But just for once, push those thoughts away and acknowledge the attention someone is willing to give you.
4. Don't pretend, be honest
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
One of the major senior dating rules is to completely drop any pretensions. At this age and level of maturity, you shouldn't pretend about any part of your personality. Be honest and expect the same from your date. Putting your cards on the table is the best bet now.
5. Dress and act your age
So, you thought the bright red dress that you once wore in your younger years will still woo the guys? Well, think again! Use your personality to impress your date. Look good, but don't overdo your makeup or accessories – just look natural!
6. Don't sound too desperate
You might be missing out on some action in your life right now, and might want to satisfy your romantic needs with someone soon. This is a normal human instinct, but it is wise not to be too expressive about it too soon. Being patient with such things is always advisable rather than regretting it later. Know each other through and through, and only then take it to the next level. When things ought to happen, they will without effort.
Valdez Over 50 Speed Dating Events
Suggested read: 15 dating struggles of socially awkward people
7. Take it slow when it comes to decisions
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
One of my best pieces of dating advice for women is not to hurry when making decisions. Give yourself time to ponder upon the current situation, the relationship, and the consequences of taking a step further. You might have obligations and liabilities that mean as much to you as much as the relationship does at this point in time. Settle your issues with others and also with yourself. If someone really loves you, he will wait for you so that you don't have to carry the excess baggage of your past into the future.
8. Don't expect or demand too much
When it comes to relationships, it is always good to keep your expectations low at the beginning, before you know what direction the relationship will take. Also, demanding behavior is not much appreciated by your partner, especially when you have just started dating. I know it is difficult to settle with this fact, but believe me, in the long run it will be helpful and one fine day you might be pleasantly surprised!
9. Don't act too independent, let him do things for you
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Through the years, life has made you tough and now you are a strong and independent woman. But if you really want someone in your life at this point in time, you have to create space for him. You must let your guy do some things for you and let him show that he cares. It's scary to let someone do that, I know, because you think what if it doesn't work and he isn't there tomorrow? But just for once, push those thoughts away and acknowledge the attention someone is willing to give you.
10. Accept them as they are
A person is the way they are because of their life experiences, which you may not be familiar with. If you are dating someone almost your age now, do not expect that you can change their lifestyle or behavior because that's a part of their personality by now. You would not want anyone to change you, whether it is for better or worse, so why not accept them the way they are? Make yourself comfortable with each other's way of life and you will have a happy time being together.
11. Listen to what they want or expect from you
Yes, communication is a two way street. So talk and let your partner know about yourself, your likes and dislikes, and what you expect out of the relationship. That will give you a clear picture of what they expect from you and you can then be prepared to plan and manage things better. My dating advice for women would be to listen, because listening is an appreciated art and helps solve a number of problems. So, let it make its way into your relationship and you will certainly enjoy the fruits later.
12. Don't settle for less just because your over 50
Valdez Over 50 Speed Dating Photos
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So, you think you are over 50 and now you will just take what you get. Here's a big ‘no' to that thought. No woman should ever settle for anything less than what she deserves. You are a beautiful woman, and you should understand that you deserve to be loved and respected. If the person you are with doesn't value the person you are, then it's clearly not worth it.
Suggested read: 10 reasons why younger men dating older women is totally rad
Your happiness depends a lot on how you define it. If you know what you want from life, even if you don't get all of it, you know you have given your best. After crossing a certain threshold in life, priorities become very different. You value yourself more than anything else, and that makes you ready to take on the difficulties posed by the rest of your life. It is of course not necessary that everything will work out as you had planned. In fact, over 50 dating can be more challenging than those teenage romances (where you can blame everything on the age) or the mistakes you make in your 20s. Now you are entirely responsible for the choices that you make and when things get murky, you have to deal with them all by yourself. But hope is one thing that keeps us alive and trying never hurts. It may take a little time, but it will definitely be worth all the struggle and patience.
‘You will die a thousand times before you wake up feeling alive in your own skin. You will love all of the wrong hearts before you realize the strength in your own,' (D. Antoinette Foy) is a good quote to keep in mind at this point in your life. So, all you beautiful women over 50, shed your inhibitions and with the help of the above dating tips, go date some beautiful men, who are just like you – beautiful inside and out!
Featured image source: Shutterstock
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